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jacket (HM c/o), top (Generation Love, Morton James, Lexington c/o), jeans (AG), chucks (Converse), bag (Michael Kors Bedford), beanie (Target), shades (Ray Ban), rings (Lagos, Anna Beck), bracelets (Sylvia Benson c/o)

Back in the saddle gang—took a little spontaneous trip to FLA which was pure loveliness.  Many of y’all will be getting glitzed and glammed tonight, but not I—I intend to spend my NYE with my sweet babes and some wonderful friends very chillaxed and family focused…banging on pots and pans come midnight with all the kiddies.  Def intend to wear something comfy and cozy to celebrate the new year similar to the rig above–say a comfy sweatshirt, sneaks, and skinnies.  But if I may chat beyond the outfit and take a moment to hop on my soapbox (brace yourself gang, she’s gonna get a smidge personal)…..

This post I have attempted to type numerous times throughout the course of the year only to be faced with a crazy amount of fear and insecurity of exposing too much of my personal life.  And yet as I close out what was hands down the most difficult year of my life, I’d be remiss if I didn’t write a little something to express my gratitude and appreciation as well as verbalize the many blessings I have in my life.  No way to say this eloquently so here goes…I got divorced this year.  Divorce is insanely difficult and heart wrenching for anyone—add two beautiful, precious, innocent little girls and well, it just compounds an already hellacious situation.  But you know what, we got through it.  I got through it.  I’d like to believe I did so with dignity and grace and my sweet girls are thriving and happy as clams.  I’d also like to think I’m much stronger than I ever believed myself to be–when you don’t think you can handle much more, or get out of bed–you do.  Because you have to.  Because you have two sweet little people that depend on you and need you and deserve to have the best possible you.  Because you know there is light at the end of a very dark tunnel.  Because even though you think you have it the worst, there are others that would kill for your situation.  Because you have to be an example of strength and there’s time to cry after they go to bed.  Well that’s what I did…I leaned, too.  I leaned on my family who when I tell you is phenomenal, well that’s a hell of an understatement–never. left. my. side.  Pushed me.  Cheered me on.  Kept me afloat.  Made me laugh.  Supported me endlessly.  I leaned on my girlfriends—girlfriends are everything.  I admitted weakness. I made mistakes.  I asked for help (something I HATE to do).  I did many things that I’ve never had to do before, but you see that’s the beauty of it—even in truly trying times..there are blessings underneath the rubble.  I realized just how blessed I am for the beautiful, selfless, and loving people in my life.  I also blogged.  I blogged regularly.  You know why?  Because that was a piece of normalcy amongst a shitstorm of chaos.  It was my therapy (well so was my actual therapist–what a little angel she is).  And there’s my thank you to you all—THANK YOU for following continuously, thank you for the sweet comments, the opportunities, the repins, the retweets, the FB likes—all the ridiculous things that may seem so trivial were little sheds of light throughout my day.  Truly you all–thank you!  And now, I’m sure there’s a million better and more poetic ways I could have typed this post but I just drove 8 hours, am flippin’ exhausted, and this is as good as I’ve got.  So let’s cheers to growth, life experiences, health, family, and friends—and let’s definitely cheers to  a fantastic 2014!  Be safe tonight, gang…enjoy and let’s catch up in the new year–got a sneaking suspicious it’s gonna be a good one!  

photos courtesy of Kristin Tatem

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